1. I did it! I ran 14 miles!!
2. Whoahhhhh, we’re (more than) halfway there….whooo-ohhhh, running on a prayer… (Come on, you knew that was coming!)
3. I have ignored the expert’s advice by flying through the first 11 miles and limping like a one-legged dog through the last three—but HEY, experts, get this: I RAN 14 MILES!
4. Advil and Immodium AD are a long-distance runner’s wonder drugs.
5. The best part of my run was that aside from the last half hour, I was really, really enjoying myself. Big smile on my face (till it turned into a grimace.)
6. The worst part of my run was not the last half hour but the hour after I stopped running, which would have been even worse without the aforementioned runner’s wonder drugs.
7. I know “real” runners don’t like to listen to music while running—they all say that during their “Runner’s World” interviews—but I really want to know how they get through several hours of running with no iTunes. (I give “Right Said Fred” partial credit for my 14 miles—how can you not run gleefully while listening to “I’m Too Sexy”?)
8. Hey Fred, I’m also too sexy for my shirt. (It’s all mildewed and frayed and no amount of OxyClean will remove the stench. Time to hit the Nike outlet.)
9. Two hours, 9 minutes is a pretty good time for a novice runner to run 14 miles.
10. Two hours, 9 minutes is a really long time to spend holding an insulated water bottle.
11. Two hours, 9 minutes is a really long time for me to spend without stopping to use the bathroom.
12. I refuse to pee in a bush. No offense real runners who happily pee in bushes while not listening to iTunes. I’d rather get a UTI from holding it in because I'm too sexy to pee on shrubbery.
13. My first-ever half marathon next Sunday will be .9 miles shorter than what I ran on Saturday.
14. Why do I have a feeling that 13.1 miles in a race setting will be a lot harder than 14 miles on familiar territory?