Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Shoe expert, my foot.

Dear Shoe Fitting "Expert":

Maybe it's all fun and games to you to "experiment" with my expensive, custom-made orthodics until we find the "perfect" fit, but I want both my $400 AND my right foot back in its previously uninjured state.

I'm sure you think it's very comforting to me to know that you'll keep "refining" the orthodics until they help rather than hurt my feet, but it's not. Have you ever run with a stone in your sock, rolling around the delicate skin of your arch until it cracks and bleeds? That's what running with your crummy orthodics this morning felt like. I now have a blister the size and consistency of a punctured grape and probably have to skip tomorrow's run. (Or maybe not. I am a bit of a masochist.)

I was sent to you by my orthopedist, who told me, "99% of the time, I agree with what Foot Solutions recommends." I guess I'm the 1% who has to be the token example of human error?

"Foot Solutions," indeed. Perhaps the orthodics you crafted for me were intended to be a "solution" to the shin splints and plantar fascitis that were my chief complaints. I have to say--I did not notice either of those problems today, because the oozing, bloody blister totally distracted me from any other minor aches and pains I deal with during a run. Nothing like agony to make you forget about discomfort.

By the way, if you don't return my call tomorrow I am going to come into your brand new Plantation location and walk barefoot all over your brand new carpet without Band-Aids on. Perhaps the blood stains will help potential customers who are on the fence about forking over their $400 make up their minds.


Bloody Jorie


  1. Why don't you try a nice pair of Asics? You are the only serious runner I know who runs in Nikes! Are you icing your shins? I hope so, lady! Oh, sorry I never mentioned that you need to switch out your shoes...usually when an ache appears I first ask myself (assuming I'm regularly stretching) 'Self, how old are these shoes?'

  2. Ice feels great on shin splints--thanks for that tip, Kelly. I actually felt absolutely FINE until I wore those orthodics because I ran on softer paths in Colorado. I'm sure in a few days all the old injuries will be back.

    I will keep Asics in mind but I really like to say "Nike Zoom Air Road Explosion II" as many times as I can in a paragraph..