How did I end up in junior high school again? If you're lucky enough to have forgotten what that was like, just snap your own bra straps and memories will likely instantly return to you of the two jokesters in the back of the class who find something sexual in every other word to come out of the teacher's mouth, even when the lesson is about a right-angle triangle.
I know spinning can make you feel young--but I am not sure I want to be that young again. (Does anyone want to go back that far in time?)
There are two fortyish men in my Tuesday 5:30 a.m. spin class who spin in the back of the room and make jokes of the "That's what she said" from The Office throughout the entire hour.
Let's call them Beavis and Butthead.
Yeah, the spin instructor is hot. She's gorgeous, in fact, and she spend four hours a day working in a gym, so she has an amazing body. And when she shouts out things like, "Come on, move it!" or "Work it, people!" or "Gimme all you got!" I can see how that can inspire the lustful glee of hormonal teenage boys.
But men who have two or three kids a piece, who have good jobs, Lexus SUVs, receding hairlines and all of the other trappings of middle-agedom?
I mean, seriously!
I can tell B & B think they are hilarious. They are nice men outside of spin (yes, I know them--I have run into them at children's birthday parties) and they probably think they are adding some humor to what otherwise would be a grueling workout.
The thing is, I didn't get up at 4:50 a.m. for humor. I got up for the grueling workout. I like it grueling.
They clearly don't, because could you really sprint at a grueling-indeed intensity of 8 without your voice getting even the slightest bit breathy as you yelled out, "Yeah, do it to me baby!"
I did say something to the teacher, and she said, "Believe me, I know!"
But what I really want her to say is, "Hey, Beavis! Hey, Butthead! Shut the f&^%$# up and move your flabby asses!"
If she doesn't say it, I might actually have to next Tuesday.
Of course that would make running into them at birthday parties very awkward.