Thursday, July 23, 2009

Please DO stop the music!

I’m having playlist issues. I need music to run, and nothing quickens my pace faster than a good song, especially one I haven’t listened to in a while. I’d forgotten all about Alanis Morrisette’s “You Oughta Know” and when I was running to it a few weeks ago I was really jamming to the nostalgia of her bitterness. “’You said you’d love me until you die, until you die—WELL YOU’RE STILL ALIVE!’” I shouted along with her, startling my poor neighbor, who’d padded out of the house in his socks and robe to pick up his morning paper when I stomped past him, dripping sweat and 1990s-era angst.

But that was a few weeks ago and now I need to take Alanis off my playlist because today when I heard that song, instead of getting all riled up and angry, I just said, “Honey, you just need to get over him already!” (Fortunately my neighbor was not around for that outburst.)

A few other songs I really need to take out of my regular rotation:

"Disturbia": When Rihanna sings, “What’s wrong with me? Why do I feel like this?” I always start to get a little queasy, particularly if I’ve eaten anything pre-run. It seems like the next logical lyric should be, “I think…I’m going to throw up!”

"Rockstar": Unfortunately the song after “Disturbia” on my playlist is this Nickelback hit, and whenever he says, “I’ll have the quesadilla—ha ha ha” I get even more nauseated. Any song mentioning a heavy, greasy Mexican restaurant entrée is not good to run to.

"Low": Who doesn’t love a cute little song about Applebottom jeans? Run to this one 80+ times, though, and you might actually tune into the lyrics and find out that they’re not just about the denim/fur-lined boot fashion faux pas. It’s TMI, Flo Rida, major TMI! I’m glad you had a fun evening with your lady of the evening, but do I really need to hear about every position??

"Hips Don’t Lie": I know I’m reading too much into this, but of course hips don’t lie. That would be lips that are capable of giving shape to mistruths. Hips? They’re good for shaking, shimmying, balancing a kid or a grocery bag, but not deception.

I’ll probably always be happy with the rest of my playlist—an eclectic mix of Bob Dylan, the Black-Eyed Peas, Nina Simone, Simon & Garfunkel, Salt n Pepa and more…but these other songs have got to go!

If you have a playlist you think I’d like, please submit it or email me. I’m desperate for some new tunes!

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