Ode to a Banana (or how I survived my 12 mile run)

Oh Banana, Banana, I love you so

I ran 12 miles & didn't have to go!

Thanks to you, my kind yellow friend

I didn't need to run wearing Depends.

Banana, without you where would I be?

(I'd be in the bathroom, moaning, "Why me?")

***

The nice thing about having a blog about training for my first marathon is that when I have a question about a running problem, I actually get a lot of good advice. Last week I asked whether I'd have to run today's 12 miler on an empty stomach because my previous double-digit runs had left me in gastrointestinal agony. 

From all of you, I got great advice, empathy and even some sample menus. I was able to use these suggestions to put together a strategy for this week's run--and hooray! The strategy worked. Today I went the furthest I've ever gone, 12 miles, finished in 1:54 which actually included a five minute water break, and best of all, didn't have an upset stomach at any point.

I thought I'd write out this strategy so that (a) I can remember it for future long runs, and (b) I can offer it up to any other runners who suffer from IBS.

If you couldn't tell by my brilliant banana poetry, bananas were a big part of this plan. Many people emailed me to tell me what a perfect pre-run fuel a banana is, but what was especially persuasive to me was that my father, who has Crohn's disease and is genetically responsible for my IBS (thanks, Dad!), told me he's been pretty much symptom free since he began eating bananas with peanut butter. I was hoping my body would react to bananas (with some peanut butter added for protein) the same way, and luckily, it did.

Here's the eating/drinking plan I followed (you may recognize some of your own advice here, and if so, thanks!)

Day before the run

• Follow the "residual diet" that people with severe Crohn's and IBS follow, which is basically all refined carbs, low-acid fruits and vegetables and simply prepared meats.
• Eat a heavy lunch but a light dinner that contains a simple carb
• Drink a lot of water dall day. NO GATORADE! (Electrolyte drinks are a big IBS trigger)
• Do something relaxing (I took Pilates Friday morning.)

Morning before the run

• Wake up at least an hour before the run (4:15 am today!!) and eat a banana with peanut butter and some black coffee (no milk)
• Dress in loose fitting clothes
• Don't wear a fuel belt or anything else tight around your waist (I carried my water)

During the run

• Drink room-temperature water. Don't drink sports drinks. Don't drink too much, either.
• Have a very small amount of performance fuel after 45 minutes of running (I ate a few Jelly Belly Sport Beans, not the whole pack)
• Relax. Being too tense or running faster than you're comfortable can be perceived as stress.

After the run

• Within 30 minutes eat a Clif bar or another high protein/carb food that is made from natural ingredients
• After that, don't eat again for three or four hours
• Have a relatively large lunch and afternoon snack and a very light dinner

Advice offered but discarded (sorry!): give up running altogether because people with IBS can't run. That might be true for some people, but I just don't buy it for me. Hey, we colon-impaired people can do anything, with the right fuel and the right strategy!

10 Ways Training for a Marathon Is Like Being Pregnant

1. You wear special bras.

2. You're hungry. Not an idle tummy rumbling, not a hmmm, what do I want to eat, but a deep, clamoring urgency to devour the fresh, buttery green inside of an avocado, to crunch between your teeth a tart apple dipped into a mound of peanut butter, to gnaw on a doughy bagel topped with whipped cream cheese like some wild animal chewing on a bone--oh, and you want all this food STAT.

3.  Another week, another new (hopefully minor) ailment. People get used to you complaining whether you've got a due date or a race date.

4. Your feet get bigger.

5. When you have to go to the bathroom, you really have to go to the bathroom. The big difference: the women waiting in line for the next available stall might let a mama with a baby bump cut ahead, but a sweaty, doubled-over runner squeezing her legs together is going to have to wait her turn.

6. You glow.

7. You sweat at inappropriate times.

8. You find yourself repeating the phrases, "Well, I guess there's no turning back now!" and "What have I gotten myself into?" Sometimes you say them in a resigned way, sometimes with determination; other times, a note of sheer terror can be detected in your voice.

9. You sometimes walk with a waddle.

10. You have genuine faith that the "finish line" will be worth the aches, pains, mood swings, mornings spent sick in the bathroom, blood, sweat and tears. Which is why, despite all these things, you soldier on through it happily, always concious of how many weeks, then days, are left in your countdown.

So, uh, if anyone would like to throw me a "runner's shower" (is there somewhere I can register for a Garmin?), I'm generally available on Sundays...

Big Foot

Running might slim your hips and trim your thighs—but does it make your feet fat?

None of my shoes fit. I’ve dropped two dress sizes, and even my new clothes have gotten baggier—to the point where my 6 year old recently asked me, “Mommy, why can I always see your underpants when you sit down?”

But my feet have turned into big, puffy bricks. I used to wear a size 8 or 8 ½ shoe. By the way my feet are busting the seams of my zip-up calf boots, I’m guessing I’m now at least a 9. [Can’t type this without cringing: if I’m honest with myself, I suspect I’m probably up to a 9 ½. Nooooo!]

Before I go score some big bargains at DSW (the “big girl” shoes are almost always on clearance), I have to consider the swelling factor. I don’t think running has actually elongated the bones in my feet or made the flesh of my foot fuller. I think my feet swell after a run, and that makes choosing footwear in the morning, after I’ve done a 5-mile loop, make me empathize with those mean ugly stepsisters who never could get their toes inside Cinderella’s slipper.

But by the end of the day, conceivably, a size 9 shoe that felt great when I first got dressed would become too big since I’d no longer be swollen from the run, causing the bane of any runner’s existence: blisters!

[I’m just trying to talk myself out of shopping for size 9+ shoes, of course. I’m 5’4 and have no business wearing shoes that big. I might as well strap a diving board to each foot—that would look just as fabulous.]

I really don’t have the luxury of being vain about my shoe size, though. Blisters from ill-fitting footwear have the potential to ruin quite a few future runs, so I think I just need to suck it up, pack away by 8s for the next few months, and start shopping in the section where the 5’11 supermodels—and drag queens—shop. With 90% of the female population needing a smaller size than me*, at least I should have plenty to choose from.

*Not a scientifically acquired statistic; made up out of thin air.

Can I run 12 miles on an empty stomach?

I ask because I think I might have to try that next weekend: 12 miles without having eaten first.

This is the second week in a row that running 10 miles led to me spending some real quality time in the bathroom a few hours later, in a cold sweat.  I feel better now, but it was so bad I was actually convinced for a short time that I'd caught a serious illness--or had been poisoned. It was that bad. And much worse than what I went through last week.

I've done a little Google-research and found an article that had some do's and don'ts for running long distance if you have a sensitive stomach. (I have IBS). Looks like I've been doing all don'ts and no do's because I:

• Ate less than an hour before running and less than an hour after the running is complete;
• Ate heavily the night before;
• Used performance candy (Jelly Belly Sport Beans)
• Wore a belt tight around my waist when I ran (to hold the water) rather than looser clothes.

I'm also supposed to avoid dairy for 24 hours before a long distance run (had pizza for dinner last night, followed by frozen yogurt) and high fiber foods and vegetables (I'd say 80% of my diet is whole grains and fresh produce.)

So I have a bit of a game plan for next week. I am going to try running after a lighter dinner (but heavier lunch) the night before, changing out my fuel belt for a hand-held water bottle, and of course avoiding dairy altogether. I had an egg white and soy patty for breakfast today and wonder if the lack of carbs/too much protein could be where I'm going wrong. 

I am hesitant to cut out a pre-run breakfast altogether, though, because I do need the energy. Maybe I can have a plain piece of toasted wheat bread. I don't want an upset stomach after everytime I do a long run...but I also can't see eating nothing before or after burning around 1000 calories.

Fortunately, the run itself was great. I beat last week's time by four minutes and had fun the whole time. Now if I could just get to the point where I feel great after a long run, I'll be in good shape.

Off for another dose of Bentyl...

The ouch explained: Medial gastrocnemius strain

And the grand prize of a signed copy of my book, Bride in Overdrive, goes to Kristen, who guessed a muscle strain. I am also offering a copy to my father-in-law Lou (I think he already has several, since his son is the book's main character), even though he didn't follow the contest rules of posting his diagnosis directly on this blog, because his email actually contained the exact words I heard from my orthopedist's mouth: "medial gastrocnemius strain." Which means a pulled calf muscle.

Here's a picture of exactly where it hurts:. That tiny red part sure does smart! The bad news is that I can expect to feel discomfort there for as long as two more months! (He said calf strains usually are a problem for 2-6 weeks but can last for 3 months, and I've been hurting for 4 weeks so far.)

The good news is my shin splints, which he treated me for earlier this year, are completely healed. And the other good news is that I don't have to change anything to my current routine aside from stretching three times a day. I can still run. So with his blessing, I'm all set for another 10 miles tomorrow.

Congratulations to Lou and Kristen, and thanks to Sarah, Kate and Leah for playing! (Kristen, if you email me your mailing address, I'll send that book right out to you. joriemark@gmail.com.)

Guess my diagnosis--and win a prize!

Tomorrow I'm going to see my orthopedist because I've been having some calf pain for several weeks now--really, ever since I attempted to do hundreds of weighted lunges and squats at the YMCA "Pump It Up" three weeks ago.

I'm really anxious that he's going to tell me I have some kind of serious ailment that requires retiring from running, so I've been Googling things like "calf pain" and "running injuries" in advance of the appointment. The best-case scenario would be him laughing, patting me on the back, and saying, "It's totally normal for your left calf to ache when you wake up in the morning, hurt for the first mile of your run, then feel better until about an hour after your run. It's also normal for your left calf to tingle. Don't do anything differently!"

But I have a feeling that's not going to happen. I'm concerned about tendonitis (although my achilles heel feels fine), a knee injury (although my knee feels fine) or worse.

So I'm having a contest. Guess what my problem is and I will happily send you a free, signed copy of my book, Bride in Overdrive: A Journey into Wedding Insanity and Back, published by St. Martin's Press in 2004. It's a book marketed for "anyone who's given serious thought to what kind of underwear she'll wear when she walks down the aisle."

If you already own a copy--or if you're a smart shopper and have a friend or relative who is engaged to be married or a recent bride--I can sign the copy to someone else.

I know, not the most exciting of prizes, but hey, it's a tough economy.

So the rules are, you need to post a comment at the end of this blog before 9 a.m. EST tomorrow, Friday, October 16, with what you think my calf problem is. The first commenter who gets the right answer will have my book mailed to them, free of charge, with the autograph written to whoever they want it to be addressed to.

Good luck!

Hold me.

I just got my training schedule for October (a few weeks late) and it's pretty intense compared to the past two months. Scanning these big numbers with my jaw dropped open, it finally hit me: I am crazy. I am truly crazy.

I have signed up to run a marathon.

What was I thinking?

Even the word marathon is long. Compare it to run. Run is what I do around my neighborhood, 3 miles here, 7 miles there. Marathon is what athletes do. Not klutzes who faked mysterious illnesses rather than run around the track in high school.

I'm supposed to do another 10 miles this weekend, and after that, the plot thickens. Five mile weekday runs, then 12 on the weekend.

I am petrified to see the November schedule. I'm signed up to run the A1A half-marathon November 15; maybe by then I will be used to regularly running double-digit routes.

Or maybe not.

Sometimes being an impulsive, spontaneous person is a good thing. You never let life get boring; you take risks. You do things before you can be afraid to regret them.

Other times you do things and later on are shocked that you did them. You wake up, blink, look around you, and find yourself running alongside thousands of other people and shriek, "What am I doing here????"

So tell me, please, what am I doing here?